I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
