I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
