whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
