Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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