dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize