What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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