he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just had sex on a roof
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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