Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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