can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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