and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize