So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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