if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
