1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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