Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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