I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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