If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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