i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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