You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
