And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
