so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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