I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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