so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
