Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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