Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize