Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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