I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
