it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
