I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
