North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
