I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
