We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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