no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
