I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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