My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
