Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
