Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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