please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
