my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We have started to decorate penises.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
