And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
