Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize