Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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