How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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