Can Purell be used as lube?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
