i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize