so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
