did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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