It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize