new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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