fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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