it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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