No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
