I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize