Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
