no. you can't hotbox the world.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
