Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job season was short but glorious.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize