Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
