We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
