I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
